Are we born with it?
It seems like some people have always been brimming with confidence. This can be frustrating and especially intimidating for those who lack confidence.
How is it that possible?
There are many reasons why some have self esteem levels that help them socially and in their pursuits. (maybe they were properly nurtured in something, excelled as a result and built on it or maybe they simply didn’t get crushed by some coach or teacher… or even parent).
Get Over it, we are where we are!
Everyone has the capacity to lead a ‘fearless’ life. It is NEVER too late to change or learn, the fact is you have a simple choice – either sit in the background or do something about it.
Building confidence in life or an activity is similar to gaining any other skill, you gotta work at!
Being nervous is natural.
First off, a good dose of ‘false confidence’ is needed in your tool box. What I mean by that is the ability to fake it, putting aside your fear/shyness/discomfort etc., temporarily suspending it! I know you cannot just wish it away but you can acknowledge it and not let it cripple you.
As a quick experiment, observe your own thoughts. ‘Separate’ yourself from your thoughts, sounds silly? It is easy to do and can help you acknowledge your ‘fear’ but not be consumed by it.
No, they’re not super-human!
You are not alone, I was struck by what the great Luciano Pavarotti said when questioned about performing for decades and how natural and happy he seemed being on stage, the great Pavarotti said anyone who says they are not nervous when performing is lying. Or how about Michael Caine, who inspite of acting for over 60 years, said he still vomits before going on stage!
Do something! Now!
Acknowledge you have some work to do in an area you want to improve upon or participate in, then commit to doing it, these are the first steps in a journey to get where you want to be.
I will have a follow up on this.
Please give me your thoughts and comments, if prefer not to be public just state so and they will not be published.